Standing in front of the mirror, speechless.
Stronger than I have ever been in my life, yet not strong
enough to grab hold of those words that let you know how much
this trip has meant to me. I open my mouth to speak words
of gratitude but can’t seem to stop talking about myself
and ‘the time that we climbed our first, second, third
and fourth 14,000 ftr’s’ or ‘the time the
weather decided to clear allowing us to climb the 2nd most
technical peak in Ecuador.’ I try to write but get distracted
by the scar on the back of my hand from ‘jamming’
in Joshua Tree or the defined muscles in my arms that I am
still getting used to. As difficult as it may be to explain
to you my sentiments, I will not give up until I have succeeded.
This I know from past experience. When I was carrying my 75lb.
bag up ‘Easy Street’ in the Sangres, and my legs
hurt so bad I didn’t think I could go any further, I
didn’t give up…and I succeeded. When I was carrying
my 75lb. bag up ‘POS’ in the Sangres, and my legs
hurt so bad that I KNEW I couldn’t go any further, I
didn’t give up…and I succeeded. When I knew I
could never do this climb or that climb while educating in
Joshua Tree, I didn’t give up…and I succeeded.
When I took one look at the glaciated peaks in Ecuador and
decided that they were made for somebody else’s shoes
(definitely not my own), I didn’t give up…and
I succeeded. Through the rain, snow, grapple, hail, wind,
thunder and lightning, I didn’t give up…and I
succeeded. For 81 days I was presented with challenges that
I never imagined I could complete. Due to the encouragement
and motivational energy of everyone on my trip, students and
instructors alike, I chose not to give up, this is why I succeeded.
For these and countless other reasons, I feel very secure
with the fact that I will be able to convey my deepest thanks
to you, regardless of the time it takes to find the words
that puzzle together in the genuinely illustrational way I
desire them to.
Allow me to explain. I have climbed some of the highest
peaks in the world. I have been to places so remote that not
another person could be spied for weeks. I have stepped on
freshly fallen snow that no one in the world has ever seen.
I have watched the sunrise from the top of a glacier. I have
looked down upon the clouds from above. I have watched the
sunset from the top of my favorite climb in Joshua Tree. I
have navigated through another country, making decisions that
affect seven others. I have had conversations with nature
that have changed me forever. I have worked extremely hard
and am very proud of my accomplishments. However, I can still
remember a time when all of the above sentences beginning
with ‘I have’ began instead with the words, ‘I
wish I could.’ There is one reason that I was able to
go on the ‘Rockies Wilderness Semester’ this fall,
your donation.
I first heard about this 81-day adventure in fall of 2000.
For four years I waited for my turn to attend. I worked hard
through college but still graduated with a degree in both
Religious Studies and debt. A year of hard work after college
still left me financially caged. Finding no joy in my life
and still awaiting the fulfillment of my four-year dream,
I wrote to you asking for help. Without even knowing me you
offered to change my life forever. I wanted to thank you for
allowing me to gain the skills I need for a career I would
like to pursue. I would like to thank you for giving me the
opportunity to experience the slot canyons and rappelling
down waterfalls up to 75ft high. I would like to thank you
for decorating my head with visions of some of the most beautiful
terrain in the world. I would like to express my gratitude
for your help in taking me to another country to experience
things both culturally and physically that I never even knew
existed. More than all of this I would like to thank you for
what you have placed inside of me. You have granted me the
‘peace’ that I have been searching for in my heart,
for years. You have allowed me to sleep calmly at night knowing
that the ‘perfect serene world’ that I have for
years dreamed of experiencing is not a fairytale, and is in
fact, almost unbelievably, even better than I had imagined.
I probably will never be able to repay you for your kindness
to me. However, I will be able to pass that kindness and generosity
on to others. Although I don’t know at this point when
I will be in a position to financially help others experience
what I myself have, I do know that I want a career with Outward
Bound that will put me in a position to help others succeed
on their outdoor adventures. Additionally, I hope to, at some
point in my life, be able to help others out financially as
well.
Unfortunately, ‘Webster’ has not yet translated
all the words that may be found in the deepest part of the
heart. So for all those meaningful words of thanks that I
have failed to record in this letter I leave an infinite…
With these words, in addition to my own, I hope that you
are able to smile a little bit, knowing that you have changed
someone’s world forever!
