Completing three Outward Bound courses at early
ages in my life profoundly impacted me as an adolescent because
they helped me to discover the self-confidence that I needed
to break my shyness and to reveal my entity.
I learned about Outward Bound School from my
good friend, Elizabeth Gooch, who had completed a course when
she was fourteen years old. As a sophomore in high
school, she excited me with her stories and experiences that
she had during her course in Colorado , and I quickly became
interested in the Outward Bound School and asked my mom to
enroll me in a course.
As a young high school student, the thought
of not showering or being seen without makeup was alien to
me. I would shower before and after soccer games and
even wore makeup during the games. At this point in
my life, I felt makeup was a necessity for me that enhanced
my appearance, and I was not aware that I did not need it.
So, a sense of insecurity about my self-image existed,
and I was oblivious to it.
Also, my true voice in life was not established.
People told me what to do, and I obeyed because I thought
that a proper young lady should be quiet and do what she is
told. Rarely did I question my actions about what I
was doing or what I was being asked to do, especially in school
and in church. Therefore, I did not have a good grasp
on the way I wanted to live my life, and today, I view myself
then, in 1998, as a puppet that was manipulated by society
and as a voiceless being in the world who was very dependent
on her family.
My independence emerged and my self-confidence
grew during my first course that I completed when I was seventeen.
It was a 16-day backpacking and rock-climbing course
with the North Carolina Outward Bound School in the Pisgah
National Forest in North Carolina. Before this course, I was
inexperienced with the backcountry, and the only information
I knew about living in the wilderness was from what Gooch
told me about her course.
Leave no trace camping, I had no clue what
it was, but I quickly adapted to pooping in the woods, carrying
a 50-pound backpack, and sleeping with the bugs and rodents.
Everything about the North Carolina Outward Bound School
I loved, and I learned that some of the best views I had seen
were when I was “dropping trou” on the most remote areas and
enjoying my few minutes of alone time in the morning with
Mother Nature. I truly enjoyed all the rigors and quietness
of Outward Bound.
Experiencing my first solo made me appreciate
silence, and constantly, I thought about my life and everything
I took for granted. I recognized how fortunate I was,
and I noticed that until Outward Bound forced me out of my
comfort zone and away from the securities of material wealth,
I had been ignoring the important and simple things in life.
(Now, I praise running water and having a toilet that
I can sit on that is only six feet away from my bed).
I realized that I was lucky to have parents who loved my sister
and me unconditionally and would do anything in their power
to make us happy. Also, during my solo, I thought about
how much I appreciated food. When the ants attacked
my well-hung food at night, it angered me the next day, but
I learned the ants were not the problem, anticipation was,
and I had to learn to better anticipate things and to pay
better attention to my surroundings. Therefore, the
solo was an eye-opening experience that silenced other people
and let me think about myself and my aspirations in life.
The personal challenge, 12-mile run, stimulated
my senses, and I learned that if your heart is set on something
and you utilize all your mental and physical strength, then
you could conquer any goal. In addition, the challenge
made me aware that I was a natural athlete, and I loved physical
challenges because of the adventurous thrill I got from them.
Nonetheless, my first course acquainted me with myself
and the adult I was becoming.
My second course, I decided to do after my
freshman year of college because I felt I was in dire need
of a backpacking excursion. Plus, the previous summer
I had volunteered for the Student Conservation Association
for five weeks in the wilderness, building a trail in Kentucky's
Cumberland Gap National Historic Park , and the summer before
that one, was my first Outward Bound course. Therefore,
it seemed right to spend my summers in the backcountry, and
I signed up for my second Outward Bound course, which was
in the High Sierra Nevada Mountains of California with the
Pacific Crest Outward Bound School.
Before I left for California, I was a diligent-studying
college student whose life consisted of soccer practice, sleeping,
eating, and studying. Fun-time was minimal, and my
dad was always raving about how much fun he had in college
and had always been wanting to go back, so I was asking myself,
where was the fun I was supposed to be having in college?
I felt I had no time to relax and enjoy life because
I was too worried about making an “A,” preparing for soccer
practice or a soccer game, and pleasing everybody else but
myself. So, when summer arrived, I was ready to have
fun.
While mountaineering for 14 days in the High
Sierra Nevada Mountains in June and July of 2000, my spirits
soared, and I awakened to every thing around me. The
scenery astonished me because the sky was unbelievably blue,
and there were numerous stars in the sky at night, most of
which I never knew existed. Quickly, I learned that
the alpine was definitely a place where I would be happy,
and it was so peaceful with no one around but our backcountry-loving
crew. I could not have been in a more positive environment
with my Outward Bound crewmates and with the gorgeous High
Sierra Nevada Mountains surrounding me. If there was
a heaven, I was in it because after a certain point of carrying
a fifty-pound (usually they weighed more than 50 pounds) backpack
up and down steep mountains, the pain subsided and the views
and people around me made me feel as if Utopia really existed.
Therefore, the Outward Bound spirit purified me of
any stresses or negative energy and allowed me to think clearly,
especially during my solo experience.
My second solo allowed me to evaluate my life
and to ask myself if I had been abiding by the goals that
I had set for myself during my first solo in North Carolina,
and if I was not, then how could I get them back on track.
The goals were based on the four pillars:
Physical
Fitness- Set your limits high because it is amazing what
the human body is capable of accomplishing, and always
stay in shape and continue challenging your endurance
level.
Compassion-
Respect all people, and find a way to always stay positive
in any situation. Also, observe people and notice how
stupid they look when they yell and hurt others for unexplained
reasons. Your life is yours, and you choose how
to live and manipulate it by being either positive or
negative.
Craftsmanship-
Performing half-fast jobs will never accomplish anything
and has no value to you. If you commit to something
(remember you always have the choice not to), complete
it with all your effort because it will make you feel
terrific and well rewarded. Plus being somewhat
of a perfectionist is who you are. The guilt sickens
you if something is not done correctly.
Self-Reliance-
Realize that you are an adult. No longer do you
need a friend or family member to go with you every place.
After all, you love being alone and doing what
you want, and boredom is not natural for you.
I set these goals for myself on my first course,
and during my second solo, I refined them and made them life-long
goals that I intended to follow and religiously obey.
Both, my NCOBS and my PCOBS course, I view
as self-awareness experiences in the sense that I definitely
learned a lot about whom I am and the lifestyle that I feel
that suits me the best. Nonetheless, my third course,
the Chilean classic course, was a confidence booster because
I proved to myself that I had already been living by the goals
that I set for myself. So, my third course helped me
realize that I was following my goals and that all I had to
do was continue being myself.
Before I left for my Chilean NCOBS course,
I had just graduated from college and was not entirely sure
of the next stage in my life. It was hard for me to
understand that people graduate from college knowing exactly
what kind of career they want because I did not. Yes,
I loved studying professional writing and being mentored by
phenomenal professors, but writing was a passion and a hobby
of mine that I knew I would always do, and there were so many
other career interests of mine that I wanted to pursue, like
maybe being a personal trainer, a pilot for the Navy, or an
Outward Bound instructor. So, because of my many pursuits,
life after college was a huge crossroad for me.
In the meantime, to celebrate graduating from
college and having completed my cooperative writing study
(internship) with the marketing department of the NCOBS in
Asheville , North Carolina , I left for Northern Patagonia
, in December, of 2003, to endure a 23-day mountaineering
course.
During this course, I had less of a spiritual
growth period and more of a hands-on-experience. Beside
learning compass and map use, we spent several days learning
these mountaineering skills:
Snow-walking
techniques
Ice
axe use
Self
arrest tactics
Rope
team travel across glaciers
Crampon
use
Crevasse
rescuing
All of these skills were exciting to learn,
and left us no time for experiencing a solo or a personal
challenge day. (I was bummed that my crewmates would
not experience a solo, but no course is the same as another,
and it made me appreciate my first two solos even more).
Soon it was summit-attempt day, and waking
up at two a.m. and hiking under the illuminating moon with
the stars twinkling above us seemed surreal. I could
not believe that I was actually walking on a glacier with
deep crevasses so wide that a couple of Greyhound buses could
fall in them, but with Dave Elmore leading my team, his extreme
precautions eased my worries. Plus, we had two other
teams, led by Clayton Montgomery and Ryan Waters (Waters just
summited Mt. Everest ) that could possibly rescue us, so I
felt safer. With danger threatening us with almost
every step, mountaineering in Chile was an unforgettable experience.
I completed my third course knowing that I
had a good sense of my true self, and even though, I was only
23, I felt Outward Bound had given me several life-altering
experiences that taught me a lot about life, which caused
my "matureness" level to increase more quickly than
it should have.
Now, when I reflect upon
my life, I am so thankful for how the Outward Bound School
has guided me, thus far, in my journey of life. From
my, Outward Bound School experiences, I have learned to take
nothing for granted and to appreciate everything, especially
my family, friends, and food. Omar Nunez, one of my
first instructors, encouraged me to speak up more and to shy
away from my timidness. As a child, I cringed when
I had to speak up or when I had to be “in the spot light,”
but now, I always try to speak up when I know I should because
Nunez proved to me on my first Outward Bound course that everyone's
voice mattered, especially my own. Also, I have learned
that I am entitled to my own beliefs, and it is my right to
stand up for my values. So, no one should ever tell
me what to think or should tell me how to live my life because
it is my life, and I decide how to live it. I can act
either negatively or positively in life, and I choose the
positive side because it creates a much better environment.
Being compassionate continues to improve my life, and
from the Outward Bound School teaching me compassion and comradery,
I have met some of the most amazing individuals who have helped
transform me from a very dependent and ignorant teenager into
a self-established, strong-willed, and independent 23-year-old
who strives to live her life through her own beliefs.
